Walking through the uncertain

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 Again, It's 14/06/2021  4:41 PM Ismailia.

Who would have expected I'd be here, in this dark twisted tunnel? Living your whole life shining makes anything less bright undesirable. I lost my vision for threats, I lost my count of time. Here, shoved in the muddy corner, on a jet black night, expecting kicks from nowhere and everywhere. Blindfolded, hearing shotguns echoing in the space, waiting for my turn to get shot, to get shot by a bullet that I can never dodge, way too late to dodge. It's ironic how good of a victim role I can act out, fool myself once, fool myself twice. Every feeling of sorrow I experience now had been destined to be mine, and only mine upon the sins I openly and freely chose to make. I shall dictate, that I, Hana, was never responsible enough to use my freedom and privilege wisely and now I'm paying the price, Now I'm forced to taste my own poison.  I keep sliding down the hill, and I forgot how it feels to be balanced. The audacity I got to wait for a rewarding plot twist since I just feel guilty.  


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